Man Watches TED Talk- Feels Better

TED power points with humans

TED rhet

John Man, opinion-forming superhero and tea-swirler, watched a TED Talk today and reportedly felt happier, smarter, and more influential within minutes.

Man watched a video about the failure of modern education to unleash the creative genius within, and now finally understands why he has never created anything in his life.

“I really feel that if educational institutions across the world had access to this video of someone using a quirky and memorable slideshow to offer broadly acceptable ideas then the world would be a much better place,” he said.

TED truthMan watched a fifteen minute video available on YouTube. He reportedly tried to find the full video on the TED website but soon realised that this didn’t exist. “At first I was disappointed, but then I realised that I didn’t want anything longer than fifteen minutes. When people consider alternative arguments or go into any details I get bored. I’m glad TED was able to explain to me what I really wanted.”

We asked a TED spokesperson about their daring use of generalisation and their synoptic approach to reality. “We took the great philosopher Andy Warhol as a model,” they said. “His critique of modern celebrity culture was great, but we were the ones to unlock the marketing potential of his cynical reductionism. We will soon be launching TEDdy for videos no longer than three minutes, allowing people to really broaden their minds during the commercial breaks. Eventually we will offer a headline-only service for people on the go.”

Man was so inspired by the non-conformist message of the video he promptly bought several tickets to upcoming TED events, and is now eager to hear more people who tell the truth he likes. “Someone I knew used to sign off their emails with this story about a failed businessman selling wisdom in a desolate marketplace with no customers,” he said. “If only that guy had distributed with TED or even TEDx I’m sure he would still be in business. As the old proverb says: if you have something really worth selling, pay for some other company’s subsidiary brand to subsume the individuality of your product for the sake of publicity.”

TED QI

After watching the video Man was also full of tangential revolutionary fervour. Though he has never worked in education and has no experience devising curriculums with a tight budget under intense pressure from parental committees and many different governmental departments, he still felt like he had a practical, workable solution to the fundamental problems of Western education. “It’s a shame that the TED talk didn’t refer to any sources, because someone should really follow up on his research and do something about this,” he said. “They know all about this in the East, because they still have spiritual wisdom there, unlike here in the West, where we don’t.”

Man admitted that he had never been to the “East” and was unable to point out where this country existed on a map, but said he would love to go there at some point.

TED MM

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