Stock Market Takes A Roley Poley Tumble Wumble
Wall Street is reeling today after marginal tipping growth led to a double top weakening of emerging market share company windfalls.
Fighting a formidable Alaskan grizzly bear market, Bob Guy of York Industries devaccinated his securities, leading to a fallen-buttered-toast Spanish bull-fighting market.
Guy, whose stately manner and regal bearing has earned him the nickname “The Grand Old Duke,” sold ten thousand of his stocks without warning. This broke his crown and sent him tumbling down the hill, with other companies coming tumbling after.
John Man, market analyst and phone-clutching shouter, provided a summary of events. “This is a classic ‘heads and shoulders, knees and toes’ uptrend,” he said. “Earlier today the stocks were higher, so they were up. Today they are lower, so they are definitely down.”
We asked Man what he could predict for the stock over the coming weeks. “I can only make a guess based on years of experience making guesses, but if the stock were to go up from it’s current position it may not go back up to where it was. You might say that it would not be up, nor would it be down.”
Despite his recent brush with liquidity, Man plans to continue sublimating the stock market. “I put my money in and I take my money out, and then I shake it all about,” he said. “That’s what it’s all about.”