Serial Killer Quits Day Job To Follow Dream

30 year old primary school teacher John Man says he no longer wants to live a conventional life of competence and accountability. He knows deep down that he was put on this Earth for more than that.

Man has dreamed of becoming a serial killer since he was a teenager but never had the courage to challenge the strictures of Western society and commit to his Journey. Until now.

“I was reading a smart person book about how you should follow your bliss,” he said. “My bliss involves callously ending the lives of others. It’s time to confront my fears and become the real me.”

Man has now quit his job in order to focus fully on his dreams, because the only thing that matters is doing things that make you happy.

“Society has given us all the wrong idea about success, because that’s a thing Society does. I thought success involved living a productive, useful, law-abiding life, but after seeing the Wolf of Wall Street it seems much better to be a reprehensible, unapologetic criminal with no redeeming features and a long history of atrocious behaviour.”

Man says that it is important to have the experiences that you are having because having them means that you were supposed to have been having them otherwise you wouldn’t have been able to have them at all.

“As Dr Phil says, You create your own experience,” he said. “How true! The experience I like to create is watching the life slowly drain from people’s eyes in my basement. Obviously my victims want to give me that experience, otherwise they wouldn’t have created it for me.”

Man hopes to write a memoir about his dreams and choices one day, provided he can imbue them with an overarching narrative significance and depth through careful editing and sensational embellishments. “I want people to see the real me I will become.”

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2 Responses

  1. megamezzo says:

    At last, a Man after my own heart! We should get together.

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