Man Thinks He Wants To Believe In Independent Thinking

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John Man, enthusiastic mover and shaker, told reporters he was overjoyed to be starting a new job as a teacher. He has long nursed a devout passion for education and the broadening of young minds, and he often watches films in which a vibrant new teacher comes to an otherwise regressive school and broadens young minds with his devout passion and vibrancy.

“I can’t wait to start my new class, which I call The History of the Individual,” he said. “It’s a 20-week course covering many iconoclastic figures of history who railed against the prevailing group-think of their time. My students will hopefully be inspired by the ones we all agree with now.”

Man is keen to promote critical thinking and an independent, inquisitive spirit in his students, in a way that may lead to a dramatic clash with the overbearing yet obviously wrong authority figures introduced with bleak scenery and stark dramatic contrasts at the start of the film. “What matters most to me is that my students come to understand that asking questions is a destructive act and should be approached with caution. The best way to be free of right-wing dogma is to uncritically endorse a left-wing agenda.”

We spoke to Doctor McSourface, who is the thinly characterised principal at Man’s new school. “I understand that Mr Man wants to instil my students with a reverence for free-thinking and inquisitive endeavour,” he said. “I wholeheartedly endorse that, so long as their thoughts do not imply anything. Implications make me morally outraged, and that’s basically the same thing as being correct.”

Man hopes that the inspirational speech he delivers somewhere in the third act will be full of resonant power and inviolable authority that will make him look like Al Pacino. “When one of my students says something that upsets the social order, he will obviously be correct because that’s what heroes are. All the people that criticise him will obviously be wrong, because they haven’t understood what a hero he is. My love for critical thinking will stop just short of analysing this ennobling meta-narrative.”

Doctor McSourface was unimpressed. “I think that’s wrong, and I don’t have time for other people to be wrong.”

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2 Responses

  1. megamezzo says:

    ‘I feel very old today – and this did not help……!’ she implied wholeheartedly.

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