Man Stops Menial Task For Police Interview


Last week in New York a group of joggers, bystanders, and pets discovered a dead body just before the opening title sequence.

During the subsequent homicide investigation, supporting character John Man astounded detectives by stopping what he was doing to answer questions. “In my twenty years of police work I have never seen anything like it,” said detective McSurly.

John Man works for a local removalist company, but during his interview with detectives he did not pick up a single piece of furniture or walk around looking busy while removing things. Instead, he stopped working and gave detectives his full attention, presumably aware that his brief involvement in this important homicide investigation might matter a great deal.

McSurly was able to ask all the questions he wanted and Man gave precise, thoughtful answers to all of them. “It was like a dream,” said McSurly. “I didn’t have to follow him up and down a corridor of power or walk around a loud factory avoiding industrial machinery or even look askance at the filthy surroundings of a pig farm while he did various pig farm things. We just stood there, talking about the case without creating a visually satisfying sense of dynamic energy at all.”

John Man was happy to help, and also spoke to reporters without using local idioms or making oblique references to his ongoing family problems. “This is the first and only time police have investigated me for clues in a horribly brutal murder case,” he said, “so of course my first instinct was to flippantly say any old rubbish that came to mind without bothering to stop the menial tasks I cherish so dearly. But for some reason I accidentally focused my attention on his questions as if they mattered.”

McSurly remains incredulous about the whole affair. “At first I didn’t understand what was happening,” he said. “I mean, If a casual bystander tried to guess Man’s profession they would have had no superficial stereotypes to help them make perfunctory assumptions.”

It remains to be seen whether Man himself turns out to be the murderer in an implausible twist that ignores crucial details established in the exposition. Luckily, he is just as attractive as Benedict Cumberbatch, so no one will care anyway.

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1 Response

  1. megamezzo says:

    What is the world coming to! Just imagine what would happen if detectives sat down or simply stood still to discuss their case instead of walking around the Oxford colleges at a rather swift pace for example…. or, worse, if the so-called ‘standing news’ disappeared from the 6 o’clock bulletins….?

Think. Type. Dazzle

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