Man Shares Emotional Response To Utterly Stupid John Lewis Ad
John Man, local pedestrian and goggle-box reject, was very pleased when he heard that John Lewis had made yet another ridiculous Christmas advertisement this year. As soon as he could, he posted to Facebook a stirring account of all the emotions he felt while watching it.
“I was just a blubbering mess,” he said. “I was in a public location of some kind when I chose to watch the ad, you know, like a cafe or a bus or something. But this led to an ironic situation in which I got all emotional in my cafe or on my bus or whatever. How quirky that I was upset in a cafe or on a bus or something like that! I mean, I was such a blubbering mess. #EveryYearJohnLewis!”
Man’s friends, family, and colleagues, were also happy to share their own charmingly bland stories about how they watched the video and felt all the predictable middle-class emotions their demographic was expected to feel. “I was also a blubbering mess,” said one. “I’m not responsible for my own emotions, so this sort of hamfisted sentimentality just goes straight to my tear ducts.”
“Most stores don’t make me feel emotions but this one does,” said another. “Hopefully now I can buy something and have some emotions too.”
John Lewis is reportedly overjoyed that people have responded so well to the ad, despite it making absolutely no sense and being one of the stupidest things ever broadcast on television. “We make sure to release our ads just after Guy Fawkes night,” he said from his underground bunker. “We really want to capture some of that ‘all-my-critical-faculties-
Man reports that when he next buys a microwave or a pillow or some sort of technological thing from John Lewis this year, he will definitely remember that little man on the moon and the joy he felt when he too received a thing via interplanetary-balloon-mail. “Money can’t buy you happiness, but it can buy you things,” he said. “And that is basically the same thing.”