Rising PianoStarsky Injured During Photoshoot

By Pianists With Kittens

GERMANY — Famous Classical Record Label was chagrinned to confirm that Rising PianoStarsky fell and injured his wrist during a recent photoshoot. “It’s really disheartening when you consider all the hours of hard work that can be lost in an instant,” said their spokesperson in interview. “Hours of makeup application, hours of clothing adjustment, hours of coaching with the cameramen — one slip of the foot and it’s all over.”

However, the spokesperson reported that the label would not take direct responsibility for the incident. “We have a clause in our contracts stipulating that musicians undertake photoshoots at their own risk. If Mr. PianoStarsky has trouble jumping out windows or walking across streets without losing his balance, he should probably just say no to those kinds of photoshoots.” 

PianoStarsky, who has had to cancel two weeks of concerts and therefore could actually be reached for comment, said, “I don’t know how it happened. One moment I was standing, then I fell over.”

“We were very distraught to learn that the new fog machine only came with a six-month warranty,” explained the spokesperson. “Because when he fell on it, Mr. PianoStarsky damaged it.”

“I thought all this fog was a product of my mystical communion with the other-worldly harmonical atmospheres of Franz Liszt,” mused PianoStarsky, “but I suppose it was just produced by the machine. Is it a random circumstance or is it some more profound commentary about life in general?” 

Famous Classical Record Label’s spokesperson concluded, “We are, of course, very glad to have Mr. PianoStarsky as part of our recording family. We wish him a swift recovery so he may return for the rescheduled photoshoot next month.” 

This post was written by “Pianists With Kittens”, who can also be found on Twitter and Tumblr

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