Twit Knows That Symphony Better Than You

Special guest post by Tom

Uhter Twit, avid concertgoer and opinion-giver, has a lot of knowledge about music, especially more than you. We caught up with him after last night’s performance in the recently opened Simon Rattle National Treasure Hall.

“It’s a shame the Beethoven symphonies aren’t performed more often,” he said, describing at length how Beethoven’s sixth symphony reflects the composer’s underrated genius. “I mean the harmony was just so cutting edge for the time: diminished-seventh chords, louder diminished-seventh chords, and then there’s what we theorists call a Neapolitan-sixth. Mind-blowing stuff.”

Twit was very happy to explain his knowledge to us, even more than we were happy to hear it. “I feel a strong affinity for the sixth because it’s so lyrical,” he said. “People say Beethoven wasn’t a melodist, but they’re wrong, and I like to prove that by humming along to performances really loudly”.

Pressed on why he felt it necessary to interrupt a musical performance people had bought tickets to enjoy without interference, Twit insisted that the other audience members were fortunate to be in his presence. “I’ve actually got links back to Beethoven: I have a German piano at home and I’ve played through most of the Czerny Exercises”, he explained. “My teacher once saw a Liszt pupil through a fence.”

Twit also enjoys the unique opportunities that live concerts provide. “Once I have loudly pointed out the errors in the program, I make sure to get out my study score”, he explained. “The irony is I don’t even need it; my memory is that exceptional. But it’s always good to check that Beethoven’s metronome marks are being followed; I’m not sure I could enjoy the evening otherwise.”

Twit’s contribution to the evening did not stop there. “I also like to conduct the music by flicking my wrist and looking austere,” he said. “Everyone around me seemed fascinated by my skill at picking out beats, especially the ones that weren’t in the music. It’s a burden being this talented.”

Latest reports indicate that Twit was still waiting for people to appreciate him. “Any day now…” he insisted.

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1 Response

  1. megamezzo says:

    Congratulations Tom – you have caught the ‘House-Style’ perfectly! So perfectly in fact, it’s hard not to wonder if……

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