A Conversation With Nico Castel

Throwcase: We Have Nico Castel here with us today, thanks for coming!

Nico: Well, I’m glad to be here. Glod to be hor. Very Glüd to bo har!

T: What’s going on Nico? You seem to be having trouble spelling the same words the same way in a single sentence.

N: Well, I can explain that very clearly. You see.

T: Sorry I missed that. Was there a line missing there?

N: Probably!

T: Should you go back and put that line in?

N: No time to check. Must KEEP TRANSLATING OPERAS.

T: Nico, I’m keen to ask about the difference between open and closed vowels in Italian.

N: Doesn’t matter!

T: What?

N: Diesn’t Motor!

T: Oh I see. But, you have spent many years carefully notating the difference between open and closed o’s and e’s on literally thousands of words though.

N: Oops!

T: So a young singer should just ignore that?

N: Eh.¹

T: Well, presumably you have devoted even more of your energy to the fine gradations of French diction.

N: Oh yes, it’s vital that you do strong flipped r in French. No, wait, not that at all, it’s more of a snapped r. Yes, very snappy.

T: Oh I see! And will you go back and edit all the volumes of French you’ve already done the wrong way?

N: No time! Must KEEP TRANSLATING OPERAS.

T: I see. Do you ever worry about the way a reference text can often take on a sheen of dogmatic, unquestionable authority on all matters, even when the author themselves didn’t intend it to be seen that way?

N: Well, I suppose. But, if you don’t know the language, what are you going to do? Sing like a German?

T: That seems a little bit prejudiced, if I may say so.

N: These old texts were written in a different time, we just have to accept everything bad about them as is.

T: But you said it just now, again.

N: Oops!

T: Well, Nico, your contribution to the world of opera is immense, and I don’t think anyone could surpass your efforts, unless they used an editor. What do you feel about your incredible achievement?

N: When you are a consummate authority like me, it’s important to

T: Ah, I think we have a missing line there again.

END OF INTERVIEW

¹ Nico: The question of open and closed vowels is very complicated, and reminds me of a time at the Metropolitan Opera in a famous Zeffirelli production of The Bartered Bride. You see, the on stage revolve broke down and the management kindly asked if I would go on and tell some humorous anecdotes about my time as a character actor at the Metropolitan Opera, New York. Of course, the show must go on, so I happily obliged!

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