Time No Longer Relevant, Says Clock Community

World-wide clock enthusiasts, known affectionately by their nickname ‘The Clock Stock,’ have decided that time is no longer relevant.

“It used to be a main part of our profession,” said John Man. “We were always looking at clocks and saying things like, ‘oh what’s the time’ or ‘is that the time, wow’, but no longer! We now make clocks that don’t even tell the time. We call them number plates.”

Man, president of the Clockheads, says that it is now passé and boring to consider time as the most important part of clocks. “There is so much else to admire about clocks,” he explained. “What about the hands? Or the little dashes? Who even wants time when you could have space? I mean, you can see space. It’s right here.”

We found a local member of Clock This, a clock appreciation facebook page, who explained how he abandoned the pursuit of relevance and embraced the world of New Clock. “I wanted to be relevant, and so I found myself starting at a clock saying ‘now’ every time the second hand moved. What could be more relevant than properly up-to-date content? Then I realised: something else.”

We spoke to a real expert in irrelevance, a classical musician. “It’s not true to say that I’ve become less relevant,” said Bob Guy, classical composer. “It’s just that relevance itself is submerged in late-capitalist entropy. That will be the subject of my next commission. When I get one.”

Man says he is looking forward to a world without time. “I can’t wait for that to happen,” he said.