Creator Of Revolutionary Piano Method Not Famous For Playing Well

John Man, author of the revolutionary piano method “408 Easy Steps To Pianistic Brilliance” says he is excited to bring his new technique into the world.

“I have redesigned piano technique from the ground up,” he explained. “Piano is not just about hitting the keys, it’s about a lot of other things that you may never have heard about and for which I needed to invent new words to describe. In just 71 easy chapters I explain it all in exhausting detail.”

We spoke to Dorothy Morothy, a famous concert pianist and teacher who runs the piano department at Parnassus Music Academy, asking for her opinions about Man’s new book. “I’m not sure I quite understand why he has written this book,” she said. “I watched a performance of his on YouTube and he did not seem to be a very accomplished technician himself. How has he derived these principles if not from direct, intimate knowledge of piano technique?”

“That is true,” said Man, “I have indeed written a book!”

Man says he took inspiration from Charles-Louis Hanon, who wrote a brilliant book of piano exercises despite not even being a pianist. “What an inspiration,” Man exclaimed. “He knew that fingers were involved, and he just ran with it. And he really smashed it out of the park! Which reminds me of the seventh concept in my book, which I call Finger-Wrist Smash, which of course you need to understand before you tackle the other, more advanced concepts, such as Super Supination and Inverse Thumb Flam. That’s the most important one.”

Sammy, young piano student and Instagram personality, says he loves the new book and works on it every day. “The good thing is that each new chapter makes me feel like I have not understood the previous chapter, so it keeps things interesting,” he said. “And yes, my teacher does say that I’ve gotten worse but the book does warn you about that. You see, it just means you haven’t fully understood the concepts yet, and so you have to commit to it even more.”

We spoke to an audience member at a recent concert of Boris Mashky, virtuoso pianist and competition winner. “Well, I did enjoy the concert at first,” said Bob Guy, local codger, “but I looked in the program and couldn’t find any mention of Man’s revolutionary new piano method. So, how could this guy be playing well without it? Has he even had a lesson with Man? I have!”

“That’s true,” said Man. “If someone hasn’t learned with my method, you know they aren’t good. At best they might have come to realise my principles by accident. Or treachery.”

“But honestly,” said Dorothy, “shouldn’t a piano method be written by someone who can play the piano very well? And shouldn’t that person be able to explain how they play in a clear, beneficial, and reproducible way?”

“That’s true,” said Man. “I have written a piano method very well! And I have reproduced it via publishing, in shops! It’s available now!”