Are you one of those pianists who wants to get worse at playing piano? No? Well, you have come to the right place. Here are 12 simple techniques that will make you get better at playing piano:
1. After you have played a note, move your finger from side to side as if you are doing a type of expressive vibrato. This will make a difference to the sound.
2. If in doubt, use the pedal. The pedal is a weapon of the gods, if the gods are your right foot.
3. Play faster. Play louder. Play Islamey.
4. When searching for a famous recording to copy everything from, pick the one that has sold the most copies. This will be the best recording because of how many copies it has sold.
5. Don’t ever do any accompaniment; playing with other people will not teach you how to play as if other people are not there.
6. If you do play with other musicians, make sure you teach them how to play their instruments.
7. Win at least thirteen competitions. In years past it might have been acceptable to win just eleven or maybe even ten competitions, but these days it takes at least thirteen for you to be able to say ‘I have won thirteen competitions’, which is something you need to be able to say.
8. Don’t care about competitions. The best pianists don’t need them.
9. When practising Chopin études in front of people, talk about how difficult you find the left hand.
10. Find a way to like Alkan. This will be very difficult, of course, but it will give you a lot of credibility with all the pianists who can play Alkan, who all play piano better than you.
11. Remember, the audience will know you are being expressive if your face is expressive, so don’t hold back: show as much of your personality as you can with as much of your face as you are able to use.
12. Play more notes. Were they the right notes? Were they the wrong notes? Who cares!? Play more notes.
And there you have it! Follow these simple steps and you will be the next piano genius in no time.